I have had this experience three times in my life. I remember them with crushing sadness and pain.
Has there ever been a time when you thought you knew someone well enough to understand that there was a sort of “alignment” between the two of you? Some core values and essential principles about how to live life were shared. Maybe I was just imagining that’s what it was like with my friends. Then came a cataclysmic shock when I realized that, “No, we have not been walking together.” I didn’t know what to say, how to respond. At first I didn’t even know how to express what I was going through. My heart was in turmoil. A fearful revulsion took over after a “mask” was removed. There was a gut reaction to this new revelation. I couldn’t explain it.
Even now I don’t know how to accurately describe what I felt. I didn’t want to reject my friends. I loved them. But when I found out what they really believed and that they were adamant about it, I knew that our close association was over. We described ourselves as part of the kingdom of God. Yet, now the actions of my friends were actively fighting against that kingdom. And they denied it. (You can speculate about the particulars. All I can say is that the problem was not the typical socio-political differences that you hear about all the time now. This was deep.)
I questioned myself for the longest time. “Am I over-reacting? Am I too sensitive?” But after months I realized with an anxious heart, “No, it’s true. We are miles apart.” My heart was torn to pieces.